Infancy Period Read online

  Prologue

  I[1] am a 34 year old homeless and jobless person.

  I'm plump and ugly, but I'm a nice guy who regrets how he lived his life. Three hours ago, I wasn't homeless; I was a veteran NEET who didn't leave my room the whole year. When I came back to my senses, my parents had already passed away. Forget attending the funeral, I didn't even attend the family meeting, and in the end, I was chased out of the house. While I cried on the floor for my parents, I banged loudly on the walls as if no one was inside. No one spoke up for me.

  I was masturbating in my room on the funeral day, when my siblings suddenly rushed in, and declared to break off all relations.

  I ignored them, in the end my younger brother took a wooden bat and destroyed the computer that I viewed more important than my life.

  I rushed at them half-crazed, but my brother is a holder in dan rank, and in reverse I was viciously beaten.

  I begged for forgiveness in an unsightly manner, but I was chased out of the door, and didn't even have time to change my clothes.

  I endured the throbbing pain in my chest (my ribs are probably broken), and walked unsteadily on the street.

  When I left the house, my siblings' rebukes resounded in my ears.

  Insufferable insults that were difficult to take in.

  My heart was already broken.

  What did I do wrong?

  During my parents' funeral, I only masturbated to a mosaic-less loli video I had recorded of my younger brother's daughter while she was bathing......[2]

  What should I do next?

  No, my mind does indeed know.

  Find a job or part time job, then a place to live in, and buy some food.

  How should I go about this?

  I don't know what I should do to find a job.

  Hmm, I still know about going to "Hello"[3].

  But, I'm not showing off that I have 10 years experience in staying indoors, how the heck should I know where Hello is. Furthermore, even if I go to Hello, I heard that it only introduces a job.

  Taking a resume and going to the recommended job, accepting an interview.

  Wearing this sweat soaked and blood stained shirt to go for an interview.

  Heck if I can get employed. If it's me I won't employ such a fellow wearing something like that. Maybe I will feel sorry, but I will not employ him.

  And come to think of it, where do I get papers for writing up a resume .

  Stationery store? Convenience store?

  Maybe a convenience store might have it, but I have no money.

  Even if I get one it wouldn't solve everything.

  Assuming that I get lucky, managed to borrow money from a bank, get a change of clothes and buy stationery to write up my resume.

  I heard that, without a place to stay at, I can't complete the resume.

  Checkmate.

  Right at this moment, I finally found my life has reached checkmate.

  ".....Hah."

  It started to rain.

  It's the end of summer, the period where it starts to turn cold. The icy rain pierces through my clothes that I don't know how many years I've worn it for, mercilessly stealing my body heat away.

  "...... If I can start over from the beginning."

  I couldn't help myself from saying that.

  I wasn't born as rubbish.

  I was born as the third male in a wealthier family. 2 older brothers, 1 older sister, and 1 younger brother. The fourth in a five sibling family.

  In primary school, I was praised as clever despite having a young age.

  Even though my mathematics wasn't considered to be strong, but I played games well, and I was a stupid kid who's pretty good at sports. I was even once the center of attraction in my class.

  Then in junior high school I entered the computer club, consulted through magazines, and saved enough money to assemble a computer. I stood out amongst my family who couldn't write a single code.

  My life's turning point to the worst was in high school...... no, it was in the third year of junior high. Busy tinkering with the computer, neglecting my studies. Thinking back, that was probably the juncture.

  I thought that learning stuff was useless for the future. I felt it couldn't be used in real life.

  In the end, I entered the most idiotic high school that was considered the worst in the prefecture.

  Even so, I thought that was nothing.

  The me who got serious and will succeed, is different from other idiots.

  That incident, I still remember.

  When I was queuing up to buy lunch from the canteen, there was a fellow who cut the queue.

  I grumbled a few sentences as if I was acting out of righteousness. That moment was when I had my strange pride and chuunibyou[4] character, leading up to that action.

  Unfortunately, that was my senpai, and one of the top two most dangerous person in the school.

  I ended up being punched in the face until it was swollen, and was stripped naked and tied in front of the school.

  He took a lot of pictures and distributed it all over the school .

  I fell to the bottom of the pit in an instant, got laughed at by others, and even got a nickname of "Foreskin boy"'.

  I didn't go to school for a month, becoming a hikikomori. My father and brother who saw me acting this way, said irresponsible words like, bring out your courage, do your best.

  No matter who, ending up in that situation, how is it possible to keep on going to school. How is it possible.

  Therefore, no matter what anyone says, I adamantly stayed indoors and refused to go out.

  I felt that anyone who knew me will be holding on to my pictures and mocking me.

  Even if I don't go out, as long as I have the computer and internet, I can spend my time away. Due to the internet's influence, I got interested in many things, and did a number of stuff. Assembling plastic models, painting figurines, creating weblogs. My mother seemed to support me, as long as I requested it, she will come up with the money to help me out.

  But, no matter what I did, I was sick of them in less than a year.

  Seeing someone else better than me, made me lose my motivation.

  To other people, I was merely playing. But, me being alone with so much time, hiding in my dark shell, had nothing else to do.

  No, even when I think back on it, that was merely an excuse.

  At least, if I was to become a mangaka and started drawing terrible web comics, or to become a web novelist and started posting novels, that would probably still be better.

  Many people who share the same circumstances did something like that.

  I made fun and slighted them, at those people.

  Mocking their creations, thinking myself as a critic, saying things like "It's worse than shit", criticizing them.

  Even though I did nothing at all......

  I want to go back.

  If it's possible, I want to go back to primary school where it was my life's highest point, or during the middle of junior school.

  No, even if it's one year or two.

  Just a little bit of time, I can still do something with it.

  Even though I did everything halfway, but no matter which one it is I can start over.

  If I put in my utmost effort, even if I don't become the best, I can at least be professional.

  [......]

  Why didn't I do anything.

  I once had a lot of time. Even though I didn't go outdoors during this time, but I was sitting in front of the computer and I can do a lot of things. Even if I wasn't the top, I can stay somewhere in the middle and put in effort.

  Manga, novels, games, or even coding. If I put in every effort, I should be able to make small accomplishments. Even putting aside
whether the accomplishments can be turned into money......

  Ah, never mind. It's useless..

  I had never tried before. Even if I go back to the past, I will probably fall down somewhere similar, and stop at somewhere similar. Because I have never stepped over a pitfall like a normal human can, I ended up like this.

  [Hm?]

  Somewhere in the heavy rain, I heard people fighting.

  Quarreling?

  Annoying, I don't want to be involved. Even though I was thinking of that, my footsteps wanted to go straight over there.

  [---- That's why, you----]

  [You're the one-----]

  Entering my sight seemed to be 3 high school students flirting.

  Two guys and one girl. Wearing a rarely seen uniform that had a stand-up collar.

  It seems to have ended up as an asura-like arena, the tallest youth is quarreling with the girl. The other youth is trying to mediate, but the two people who are quarreling weren't listening at all.

  (Hmm, I had something, like that)

  In junior high, I had something like a cute childhood friend. She's still considered as cute, and could be ranked number 4 or 5. She participated in the running club, keeping short hair. Walking in the streets will have 2 or 3 out of 10 people turning their heads, that kind of appearance.

  It's just that I was very passionate over a particular anime, and felt that running clubs must have a pony tail, so I thought she was an ugly girl.

  But, her home was quite close by, and we frequently shared the same class during primary school, and it was not one time we went home together. We had plenty of chances to talk together, and also argued at times. Such a pity. The current me, just listening to the words, junior high, childhood friend, running club, is enough for me to masturbate 3 times.

  By the way, I heard that childhood friend seems to have gotten married.

  I overheard this rumor from the living room where my siblings were talking.

  Our relationship wasn't bad. We were able to talk without reservations, since we've known each other from a young age.

  Even though I didn't think she liked me, but if I worked hard, entered the same high school, or even entered the running club and enter the same school by recommendation, I might even raise a flag[5]. If I confessed with a serious attitude, we might even have gone out.

  And then going back together flirting with each other. Perhaps even, doing H things in the classroom when no one is around.

  Hah, is this an eroge?

  (Come to think of it, these people are really stuck in reality. Just explode already.... Hm?)

  Suddenly, I realize in that instant.

  A truck was heading to them at high speed.

  Also, the driver in the truck.

  Was falling asleep at the wheel.

  And the three still hadn't noticed.

  [D-d-d-Danger, ah]

  I tried to warn them by immediately yelling, but I haven't used my vocal cords for over 10 years, the cold rain and the pain in my ribs made a secondary squeeze, the trembling, thin voice that I strained out disappeared into the rain.

  I must save them, I have to. Why do I feel like I must save them, I thought of it at the same time.

  I had a feeling, if I didn't save them, 5 seconds later I will regret it. If I saw the 3 people getting smashed into a bloody pulp by the truck, I will absolutely regret it.

  Regretting over why I didn't save them.

  Therefore, I had to save them.

  In any case not long after, I would probably have starved to death by the roadside, at least for that moment, I wanted to have some self satisfaction. I don't want to continue regretting at the very last moment.

  I ran and hobbled along towards them.

  My legs that had not moved for the past 10 years were not listening. This was the first time in my life that I wished I had exercised more. The broken ribs were pulsing with extreme pain, obstructing my every step. The first time in my life that I wished I had taken more calcium.

  It hurts. It hurts so much that I couldn't run.

  But I still ran. Ran.

  I was running.

  The youth that was just arguing hugged the girl when he noticed the truck approaching in front of his eyes. The other youth whose back was facing the truck had not noticed. He was only surprised by his companion's sudden action. I grabbed his collar without any hesitation, and used all my strength to pull him back. The youth was pulled away, and fell outside the truck's path to the roadside.

  Good.

  There are two more.

  Just when I had this thought, the truck was already in front of me. I was just planning to pull them from a safe distance, but once I pulled them back, the reverse force made me move forward.

  A natural thing. Even if my body weight was over 100kg, things don't change. The result of using all my strength to run, made my legs tremble and get dragged by the momentum.

  At the instant when I made contact with the truck, I felt like I got lit behind my back.

  Is that the rumored life's flashback? I couldn't see anything at that short instant. It was just too fast.

  Did it mean the contents in my life were too thin?

  I was sent flying by the truck that was 50 times heavier, onto the concrete wall.

  [Puhh.....!]

  The air in my lungs was pushed out. My lungs that demanded air from the hard running, spasmed.

  I couldn't even utter a sound. But, I wasn't dead yet. The accumulated fat was probably what saved me......

  But once I thought of that, the truck appeared in front of my eyes again.

  I was flattened like a tomato between the concrete ground and truck.

  Chapter 1 - Could This Be Another World?

  Part 1

  When I woke up, the first feeling was my eyes being dazzled.

  Light filled my eyes, and I narrowed my eyes in discomfort.

  When I felt my eyes adjust to the brightness, I found a young woman with golden hair gazing at me.

  A beautiful girl...... No, a beautiful woman would be more appropriate.

  (Who?)

  At her side, a man with brown hair of similar age showed me a small stiff smile.

  A strong and arrogant looking man. His muscles are amazing.

  Brown hair, arrogant type. Looking at this dokyun[6] appearance, I should have a rejecting reaction, but strangely enough, I did not have any unpleasant feelings.

  It's probably because his hair wasn't dyed. It's a very pretty brown colored hair.

  [-----XX-----XXXX]

  The woman cracked a smile at me and said something.

  What is she saying? It's kind of fuzzy, and I didn't understand it at all.

  Could it be that it's not Japanese?

  [------XXXXX----XXX]

  The man used a gentle expression and replied. Really, what did he just say. I couldn't understand it at all.

  [------XX-----XXX]

  A third person's voice was transmitted from somewhere.

  I couldn't see it.

  I tried to sit up and ask them, "Where is this place and who are you guys."

  Even if I'm a hikikomori, I'm still not a failure at communication.

  I could still do something like this.

  [Ah, Ah------]

  But what came from my lips, I couldn't tell if it was a groan or just heavy breathing.

  My body couldn't move.

  I felt the sensations of my fingers and wrists, but I couldn't move my upper body.

  [XXX--XXXXX]

  In the end, the man carried me up.

  This is a joke, right? My body that's over 100 kilograms, lifting it up so eas....

  No, maybe I was in a coma for dozens of days and it caused my body weight to go down.

  From such a huge incident, the possibility of losing an arm or leg is very high.

  [A fate worse than death, hah......]

  On that day.

  Those were my thoughts.

  Part 2

  A m
onth passed by.

  Looks like I was reincarnated.

  I finally realized that fact.

  I had become a baby.

  When I was carried up, supported on the head, and my own body came into the corners of my eyes, I realized that fact.

  Even though I don't know why I still had my past memories, it wasn't anything bad even if I got them.

  Retaining memories upon reincarnation----- No matter who it is, they would have entertained such delusions at least once.

  But I didn't think that such a delusion would become reality......

  The first couple that I saw when I opened my eyes, seemed to be my parents.

  Their age are probably around the first half of 20. They are clearly younger than me in my past life.

  From the perspective of a 34-year-old, calling them young people wouldn't be wrong.

  Having children at this age, really makes people envy them.

  I already noticed it from the beginning, but this doesn't seem to be Japan.

  The language is different, my parents' faces don't appear to be Japanese, and their clothes even seem to be that of a native village.

  I couldn't see anything close to an electronic device (The person wearing a maid's apron is using a cloth to clean things), and the utensils, bowls, and furniture are coarsely made from wood. It was probably not an advanced, developed country.

  Of course, the possibility of being very poor and unable to afford the electricity bill is still there.

  ..... Maybe, that possibility is very high?

  Because there's a person looking like a maid, I thought they surely had some money, but if it's a relative belonging to the father or mother side, it wouldn't be strange. Cleaning is a very normal thing.

  I certainly wanted to start from the beginning, but living in a family that could not even afford the bills made me very restless.

  Part 3

  Half a year passed by.

  Listening to my parents' conversations this last half-year, I started to understand things bit by bit.

  My English results couldn't be considered good, but [learning a foreign language will be slow when you're surrounded by your own native tongue] seemed to be true. Or could it be that this body's mind is pretty good? Because of young age, I can quickly remember things.